The English language is the greatest fucking thing in the world. You can say so many things with it! Plus, you can make up words and phrases, or give familiar words new meanings and, if enough people repeat them, they’re in!
Of course, not always. You can’t just foist something on people and expect it to stick. Case in point: “Stop trying to make ‘fetch’ happen.” But guess what. (This gets a period and not a question mark, because it’s not a question. Try to understand that it’s an imperative!) Enough people saw Mean Girls that, while “fetch” hasn’t really happened, “Stop trying to make ‘fetch’ happen” has totally happened.
But that’s not all. The euphony and musicality of English make it sonorous as shit, which means it’s an exceptionally good medium for the construction of tongue twisters. Okay, yes, granted—so is every other language in the world. But so what? Just look at these. Some are easier to say, three times quickly, than others. But all of them demonstrate what I call the “coolness” of English.
Blanche and Vance blanched a blossoming broccoli branch.
The soiled boys boiled spoiled oil.
Take Merrick to market Mark’s turmeric tomorrow.
Munsch munches lush lunch room mushrooms.
Can ten tan pancakes take ten cake pans?
The Lenten lentil made Yentl mental.
Thy thickened chicken thighs sickened Sy.
Edgar retched at Ed’s wretched cheddar.
Partially parse the parsley sparsely.
We’ll buy some bison Sunday, son.
The creep’s crepe cheated with cheap cream cheese.
Jay and Mary jarred marjoram with Major Jerry and Hairy Margie.
The bully bills a billion for the bouillon.
Selling celery for sullen Sally’s salary is silly.
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