We’re honored and excited to welcome, as Guest Chef, Senator Joe Manchin (D; WV).
Why This Recipe Works, To Whatever Extent It Does: “The omelet is a noble and venerated institution,” the chef tells us. “Its success depends on the co-operation of all its constituent parts. Any use of coercion in its preparation would violate the spirit in which our Founding Chefs created it.”
2 Tb butter
1 cup button mushrooms, sliced thin
¼ tsp salt
1 Tb dry sherry
½ cup cheddar, swiss, or jack cheese, shredded
1. Place the unbroken eggs in a bowl. Set aside.
2. Place non-stick skillet over medium heat. When hot, melt butter. Do not break eggs.
3. When butter foams, add mushrooms and stir to distribute. Season with salt. Continue to not break eggs. Announce that the omelet will “be meaningless” unless the eggs add themselves to it.
4. Allow mushrooms to give up their moisture, about two minutes. During this time, insist that eggs will sooner or later feel compelled to play a role, for the good of the entire omelet.
5. Raise heat slightly and add sherry to pan. Mix. Allow liquid to evaporate. If criticized, repeat, “You all know my feelings about breaking eggs.” Assuage the distress of onlookers by saying, “Besides, if we break these eggs for this recipe today, we won’t have them for future recipes.”
6. Once mushrooms are sauteed, uncover, lower heat to low, and season with pepper to taste. Stir. Declare publicly that you fully believe that “at least one” egg will “do the right thing.” Add, rhetorically, “otherwise, why are they even eggs?”
7. Sprinkle cheese across mushrooms and gently blend. Cover pan to allow cheese to melt. Express disappointment with eggs but do not break them.
8. Off heat. Proclaim that you will “keep trying” to uphold “the institution of the omelet” in further recipes.
Serves 2, supposedly, but, really, serves the interests of 4 (the eggs) and serves 1 (you) right.